Thursday, December 9, 2010

Okay blog peeps! I'm back! Let us commence with some GIVEAWAYS!

Okay my blog peeps, I apologize for the 5 weeks or so hiatus that I was on, but there's been a lot of crazy stuff going on, but I'm back! And here to stay!

Let's start with another giveaway from the FUNNIEST tee shirt company in the world,


This is one of the shirts they were kind enough to give me in exchange for spreading the word and hopefully getting some of you guys to check out their site!
I have been sporting this shirt, and let me tell ya, either people think it's funny and LOVE it, or they get all freaked out and cuss me out! It's pretty fun to wear here in Boston, but I think it would have been wayyyyyy more funny if I had worn it when we lived in South Carolina!

SO, please check out their site, they have everything from regular funny to funny as shit, and from somewhat offensive to "OMG, I can't believe someone made a shirt like that!

So.......if you would like to win your choice of ANY shirt you want,
be the 1st person to round up 10 followers for me!
Tell 'em to follow the blog via Google Friend Connect AND leave a comment stelling me that you sent them!
Now, on a whole different note, I have quite a few giveaways coming up, so stay tuned! Also, a lot more sales, specials, and educational info from your Brown Bag Chick!
So stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Sunday Special.........Happy Penis!

Hee, hee....I knew that would get your attention!
And you can stop thinking those deviant sexual thoughts running through your mind! Just because I said "penis", does not mean this is going to be a crazy ass x-rated post! (that's coming later)(no pun intended)
This is really just to throw the Sunday specials out to you!
 To ALL of you! Something for the ladies AND the guys!

As stated in the title....Happy Penis
Edible masage lotion designed for penis play...comes in cherry, mint, and vanilla!
Buy one, get one half off!

Now ladies, whoever was just thinking "eww, gross"...quit playing, you know you do it!!! Like it or not, felatio  oralizing is a part of life. Period. And if you don't like being the oralizer, then you are clearly doing it wrong!!!  Just like a good man is hard to find....a hard man is good to find!
That's where this next item comes in....
"Tickle his Pickle", by Dr. Sadie Allison
 
This book is for everyone, from the prude housewife who refuses to oralize, to the master oralizer, this book has something for everyone to learn! From the concept of  "blowjobs are not a JOB", to the guided tour of the anatomy of the penis, to zillions of positions and techniques, from taking it out of his pants to eruption, all the way to tons of questions and answers!  Lol, she even covers that oh-so aggravating thing when the guy pushes your head down! (Guys, FYI: we HATE that shit! Oralization on demand is NOT thrilling)
 
For those of you who might be anti-oralizing from a bad experience in the past, the good Doctor even helps you get back into the swing of things. Cause face it, oralization s here to stay, it is NOT going anywhere!
 
I'd like to throw on a good point here, because we have ALL had a past experience where it tasted GROSS, and we were like OMG, I'm never doing THAT again!.....
Diet, genetics, and time between orgasms effect the taste. So just because your ex might have tasted gross, your new guy could taste like fruit! :) 
 
Now, something EVERYONE can use:
 
(
You can't tell because my pictures SUCK, I took them with my cell phone...but that's a set of lips at the end!
This jelly glove (named "Gidget") is great for you men when you either don't have access to a real mouth, or when your woman is either on strike, or too tired, or just not feeling that oh-so hated oralizing on demand! It's ribbed on the inside, and we have tons of lube to go with it! :)
 
Now ladies, this is a LIFESAVER to you! Or at least a jaw saver anyways!
You can cut a couple of inches off the end of it...t(more if your man is huge, and none if your man is Irish),
 and it will become your new best friend!
 
We all know that it's not ALWAYS good when your man lasts forever! Lock-jaw sucks!
You can start off using this on your man, and then push it down to the base of his penis, enough to be able to use your mouth too. When you jaw starts to get tired, just use the jelly glove, then switch on and off between the glove and your mouth.
 
Or, you can start off with your mouth and if you're oralizing good enough, while your man is all into it, you can throw the jelly glove on and use the glove and your mouth, then eventually just the glove.
 
Either way, it saves you from your jaw killing, and for real, he will never know when your mouth left and it was just the jelly glove!
 
Happy Penis......$11.50
Tickle His Pickle..........$18.00
Gidget........................$22.00
Your jaw not killing......PRICELESS!!!
 
 
 
 
So what are you waiting for...hop on over to my SITE and shop!
Coupon code ASEBAS will get you 10% off your ENTIRE order!
For the Happy Penis deal, send me a MESSAGE
 






Saturday, October 30, 2010

Saturday Special......... Coochy Cream!

Good afternoon peeps! In honor of the upcoming Sex Toy Day on November 4th, I will be throwing some $ saving specials your way! From now until midnight November 4th, use coupon code "ASEBAS" for 10% off EVERYTHING on my site! EVERYTHING!

AND check this out......todays special is COOCHY CREAM!
Buy one, get one half off!
For those of you who haven't discovered Coochy Cream yet, you are going to LOVE it.  You will never use regular shaving cream again!!!EVER!!!
After using just a few times, you'll see a CRAZY difference! No more looking like a plucked chicken after shaving! No razor bumps...at all....none...nada!  Even if you use a cheap ass razor...no lumps or bumps!  Also, it doubles a hair conditioner! Yup! Hair conditioner!!!
And for men......it works awesome too! And what guy doesn't like coochy on their face??? And for the prude, shy peeps out there...the label comes off very easy, so you could take it off and nobody would know what it is!!!
*There's no code for the coochy cream deal, you just need to send me a message:

For the reat of your shopping, just go HERE and use coupon code"ASEBAS" at checkout!

**One more thing while I'm here.....for those of you living in a cave, who haven't gotten one yet, show your suport for breast cancer and pick up a "Save the ta-ta's" bracelet!
They sell them at 7-11, Tedeschi's, or any of those little stores with the foreign dudes selling slurpee's, etc.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Okay my friends, SEX TOY DAY is right around the corner!!! Thursday Nov 4th!

I shit you not! There is a day for everything under the sun, so I am siked to announce that My Pleasure has created such an event! Yes, you heard it right, SEX TOY DAY!!!! And of course, there is a whole website for Sex Toy Day!

And check this shit out..........they are giving away 1,000.....yes, 1,000 FREE vibrators!!!! FREE! Totally free! You don't even have to pay for shipping!!!! It is TOTALLY FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Who doesn't like FREE?

So, WTF are you waiting for...get on over there and check it out!



Actually, wait a minute...back the bus up.  You can check it out in a minute...because first I am going to let you in on some top secret information! ......

Do you think that sex toys can change your life???......the answer is HELL to the YEAH!  Are you shittin me? Do you really have to think about it?  If you have to think about, then you need to do some serious shopping!  Now on to the top secret info....

 How Sex Toys Changed My Life!

Okay, I'm not ven going to try to lie...honestly, I was scared of sex toys for a loooonnnnngggg ass time after my very first experience with one! I don't even remember the name of it, it was something like the "Super XLT turbo thruster 127 GXV psyho power", or some crazy shit like that.  One of my friends gave it to me on my 19th Birthday.  Lol, it couldn't have come at a better time, as I was in the Army, over in Germany, dating a complete TOOL!   Anyways, this thing was CRAZY! It was loud, huge, clunky, and must have had a race car engine in it! It could have taken off by itself and drove away. No joke, that thing scared the shit out of me! I tried it a few times, and it STILL scared the shit out of me! Needless to say, it found the trash!

So I went through a little "anti-toy" stage until I met a guy. (Let's call him "Bob" for my own life safety sake!)  Bob was HOT!  After a few sex-sions with 'Bob", he wanted to bring some toys into our sex-sions.  I put the brakes on really fast! No way was that crazy shit entering my bed!!! "Bob" spent a lot of time convincing me to give toys another shot. After I really pondered it, "Bob" was so damn hot I probably would have let him bring that turbo-psycho thing to one of our sex-sions. Bob was awesome. OMG! Sex was already an 11 on a scale of 1 to 10, so i couldn't imagine it getting any better!!! But it DID!!!! OMG, talk about taking it to the next level!!!! The difference that a cock ring made...whew. Then when he added a vibrating bullet  to the cock ring...holy shit!!! 

We used a little something like this Queen Bee:


OMG! It seems like it was just yesterday!! "Bob", if you're out there...I thank you! "Bob" taught me a lot.  He introduced me slowly to different things, and eventually toys became a part of every day life! So yes, Sex Toys changed my life!!! (Thanks again Bob! you ROCK) When life in the bedroom gets boring, all you gotta do is grab a toy out of the toy box, or a lotion or potion, and you're off! Life will NEVER be boring in my bedroom again! EVER!!! There is always room for more toys, and time for SHOPPING!

So there you have it my peeps!  Now go on over and check out My Pleasures Sex Toy Day site!






Tuesday, October 26, 2010

O! M! effin G! WICKED SWEET GIVEAWAY from Pleasurists.com, celebrating their 100th edition

This is the SHIT! Here's a few of the things you could win:













                                                             Fleshlight of your choice!


And many, many, many more cool ass things!!!


So stop sitting there thinking of which things you want to win, and get your ass over to their site! Check em out!!!!!!!!!!!!
They have the best SEX TOY REVIEWS ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The info to win the stuff is right HERE :)





Pleasurists adult product review round-up


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Okay, let's get this blog rolling!!!

Okay, I've had a little drama going on, but it has slowed down a little, so I'm ready to get this blog rolling!

Can you believe this is a real place! lol. It's in Canada....go figure!!!

While I have your attention, I want to share a few more funny pics!





Okay, enough with the sick humor. No wait! A little more sick humor AND a GIVEAWAY!!!
No, I m not an Atheist, this shirt is just wicked funny!


This shirt is from Foul Mouth Shirts, they ROCK!!! They have TONS of funny ass t-shirts!!! So what are you waiting for??? Go check out their FUNNY T-SHIRTS!!!
Because the first person to round up 10 followers for me via GFC, will win their choice of a t-shirt from Foul Mouth Shirts!!! Make sure your peeps leave me a comment saying that YOU sent them! (I would round up some followers FIRST because when you check out their site, you will get lost for a while there 'cause they have sooooo many cool shirts to choose from!
Here's the link again: Funny ass T-shirts! 

I will email the winner to get ur info! And here's one more tasteless humor pic for the road:


                                                              Okay, just one more:







Sunday, September 19, 2010

Welcome!

   Welcome to my blog!  I have been looking for a way to not only promote my business, but to help people too. In this business I am forever learning new things and would love to share them! Like, did you know that the male fetus is capable of getting an erection during the last trimester? Yup, they start young!  No seriously though, I will bring to you important facts, such as the fact that impotence is grounds for divorce in 26 states! Okay, that probably doesn't fall under "serious", so here's one more: During the female orgasm, endorphines are released, which are powerful painkillers. So ladies, headaches are in fact a bad excuse not to have sex!!!

   In the future I'll be writing some articles to try to help reduce the stigma of sex toys.  They seem to get a bad rap from the more "reserved" people, and I'd like to shed some light on that! Toys are not "freaky" and Satan did not invent them! Sex is natural. It happens. ALL THE TIME! Yes shy and reserved people, we know you do it too, your secret is out! Toys are merely tools to enhance your experiences. So if you are scared to click on my website in fear of the "double dong", or the "orgasmic otter", don't be! Keep following my blog and I will slowly wean you into the comfort zone of sex toys, sexual health, relationships, and much much more!

   I will also be hosting some GIVEAWAYS! Yes, free stuff!!! So let's say, for every 25 followers, I will have a giveaway.  You get where this is going? Yes, more followers, more giveaways! And as the number of followers grow, so will the giveaway! So pleasego recruit your friends! If you're a blogger, I will follow you too! I love meeting new people and following new blogs!

   Well, that about wraps it up for now, I just wanted to introduce my blog to start out. Stay tuned for more! Once this blog gets rolling, as a good friend once told me, "it's on and popping!" (I always wanted to use that quote!)

   In closing, I'd like to extend a special thanks to my friend Steph, who insired me to start this blog! If you're not already following her blog, please go check her out and follow her! Her blog ROCKS! Plus she always has a mad ton of giveaways! Here it is: 4 the LUV of SaNiTy

  P.S.  If you'd like to check out my website and do a little shopping, here it is: http://www.mybrownbagchick.com/   Use coupon code  8FSXX3 for 25% off your ENTIRE order as a "Welcome to my blog"  thank you!!!

  Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for more!!!

Funny Ass T-Shirts!!!

CHECK OUT SOME OF THE MOST BAD ASS T-SHIRTS ON THE WEB!